I miss my niece like crazy. I speak to her daily but it's not the same as being with her.
Being on regular people time has been an adjustment after spending months observing vampire hours.
Anyway I've been uber reflective these past few weeks and have found myself in a different head space. I decided to take Oprah's lifeclass --watch it if you get OWN-- and it's made me realize some things about myself. I also had an AHA moment after watching one of the lessons - the Terry McMillan class on letting go of anger. During the wee hours of the following day, I had an epiphany. I was still very angry about something that happened in my distant past and I had to let it go. I acknowledged it and took time to name the chain of events and let each part go. It was liberating. I hadn't thought about what carrying the baggage around was costing me emotionally, spiritually and physically.
Some mornings I wake up during the pre dawn hours. It's quiet. It's peaceful. The world hasn't imposed anything on my day. During these minutes of peace I get a chance to listen to myself, to reach into my subconscious mind and examine my thoughts without fear -- an internal fear, I scare myself out of really examining my life sometimes--. It's been an exercise in not judging myself and the choices that I made in the past and I'm beginning to see the other sides of myself through this. It's like looking at light as it refracts through a prism and choosing to see the entire rainbow spectrum in addition to the individual colors.
Final thought is a take home from Oprah's lifeclass: You become what you believe.
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