Intersection of Gender Identity and Gender

Over the last couple of days Chicago has played host to the AWP and there have been several offsite events that have been open to the public. I had the great fortune of attending the Ancestors: A Queer Writers of Color Reading. I loved it. Some of the finest poetry and prose that I have ever heard.

--I claim to be no expert on matters of sexuality. These are my thoughts and feelings.--
I have been trying to think of which piece got me thinking again about gender identity and how I identify on the orientation spectrum... I still can't but it will come to me. For this post's sake we will define gender identity as ones private sense of being a man or a female [wiki definition]. Simply put do you feel / see yourself as male or female or both. In it's absolute sense it has nothing to do with one's orientation. We'll define orientation as whether you are attracted to people of the same sex / the other sex / both sexes / none at all.

Something that I've struggled with is finding a place in the LGBT[add letter as needed] community. It's very difficult to explain the whys and the hows of this struggle. I self identify as queer and am attracted to people of the same sex [simple enough right]. I would peg my gender identity as male in that I relate to society in more of a cisgender male way. It has always been that way. The thought that immediately follows this is do I consider myself transgender? In a word, No.

At it's simplest, I do not feel the need to transform my physical body to mirror my gender identity. I am okay with my body. I am okay with my gender identity. What I am not okay with is the intersection between the two. I haven't figured out how to make the intersection work for me. This in turn has made it difficult to work out how I fit into the LGBT alphabet soup.

As much as I hate to admit this, the LGBT community tends to be very clique/label-centric. There seems to be a need to put labels on people and then deal with them based on that label. Because of this I choose to identify as queer if need be. I think of it as being a label that is very specific in its vagueness. Dealing with the hetero community is not as much of a challenge. I am not straight and generally that is that. The discrimination that comes out of that is fodder for another post but suffice it to say I am more aware of where I stand.

Something that occurs to me as I write this is that I might still be having issues with my sexuality. Not in the am I queer or not way, but more along the lines of in spite of being out for however many years, I still haven't fully accepted my attraction to women. Who knows? *epic shrug* I'll continue to work on being my awesome self and maybe one day the intersecting region will grow to become the whole and I won't really care whether or not I fit into the LGBT[add letter as needed] community.

Tuesday Beat: Marvin Gaye - Let's Get It On / Jill Scott - Crown Royal

February is for the lovers so enjoy double plays of Old School and New School love songs





 Bonus Isley Brothers - Between The Sheets

Tuesday Beat: Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You / Maxwell - Fortunate

February is for the lovers so enjoy double plays of Old School and New School love songs



Bonus Toni Braxton - Unbreak My Heart

Bollocks to this!

Hmmm I've started and restarted this post a grand total of 3 times. There is so much that I want to write but it is all coming in one giant ball and my fingers can't keep up.
In life there are walls... you either scale them, tunnel under them or run through them. I hit my wall, bounced back and am now trying to figure out how to get past it. Last week was rough and this week is promising to be even rougher.
*goes off to look for armor, a sage smudge stick and a pitcher of holy water* Covering all my bases.

Tuesday Beat: Etta James - At Last / India Arie - Ready For Love

February is for the lovers so enjoy double plays of Old School and New School love songs





Bonus Tank - I Can't Make You Love Me

Tuesday Beat: Luther Vandross - If Only For One Night / Jesse Powell - You

February is for the lovers so enjoy double plays of Old School and New School love songs




Bonus Donell Jones - I Wanna Love You

Stretching that dollar

Namaste... I'm feeling zenish so why not spread it around.

For the unemployed, partially employed, mostly employed, fully employed and over employed the economy has not been too kind. I'm now partially employed so every month I have to make sure that my dollar is all that it can be.

My sister introduced me to several sites that have all sorts of dollar saving ideas be it repurposing items or cooking a little differently. I've tried out some of the ideas and am happy to report that I have begun to make a dollar out of fifty cents. Check out the following:

Pinterest - Very popular with great ideas for crafts, household goods, you name it it's probably there. We needed storage baskets and I was not about to shell out boku bucks for one of these. Boxes were turned into storage baskets by covering them with a sheet from the thrift store. The liner was made from a contrasting sheet.Total cost $2 for 2 "baskets" and it took 30 mins most of which were spent waiting for the glue to dry. [boxes were taken from our local recycling place]

Duitang - Pinterest Chinese style. You'll need to have google translate enabled for this one but it is just as good if not better. I have learnt how to build a bookshelf out of boxes and am happy to report that my niece has some très chic and sturdy bookshelves. [duct tape -multiple colors- adds to the look if you have it lying around else glue away].

Instructables - This is geek territory mostly but the recipes scattered throughout are awesome. I've learnt how to make a case for my laptop [pictured above] in 20 mins and for $12 [including the custom embroidery of my name on flap]. I took it to the next level by making it two tone and it can be used as a carrying case sans laptop.

Tried cooking / prepping all meals for the week on one day? Here are some crock pot recipes from Mama and Baby Love.

Tired of buying expensive laundry detergent? Try this recipe from One Good Thing.

Microwave popcorn anyone? Try this low cost, preservative free alternative -- LUV IT!.

Coupons, coupons, coupons. There is no shame in couponing. I do not do any extreme couponing, but I can vouch for the doubling and in store savings. I have gone to a store with $20 and come out with cough syrup for kids [stuff costs 8 bucks a pop], Theraflu, a box of 96 diapers, 4-12 packs of Pepsi, Pringles, a bottle of Irish Mist and a free pack of batteries. Took me 15 mins to check out as I bought one item [double coupon], then used its in store rebate to buy the next and so forth. Also price matching is a godsend. It's all about strategy!

May the value of every dollar that you spend be doubled. Go forth and save!

O and a belated Happy Birthday to SweetT!

Tuesday Beat: Jabu Khanyile Bayete - Umkhaya Lo

Song after my own heart.

Saturday already?

Greetings me hearties! The weekend started well for ya? Hungover? Happy from a lil morning tumble [ye who speak British English know what I mean]?

Today it's the usual rambling to help me get back into the groove of blogging. I took an extended sabbatical to make some paper & now things have finally slowed down enough to for me to pick up this lil hobby of mine again. Alrighty then ...

Umm let's see. I am still unspoken for. No rush on that front as I haven't met anyone who has made me pause in quite a while. Where the heck are intelligent, spiritual women hiding these days? I've discovered that working vampire hours isn't exactly conducive to mingling.

I now have a 2 year old [she just turned 2] in my life who talks non stop and I do mean non stop. Not even toddler garbled shit. I mean we are talking talking complete with "No way auntie". She still refers to herself in the third person but you know what, she can tell you wtf happened when she comes crying and that makes troubleshooting much much easier.

Moving on ... To those that do not read Black n Bougie, I really think you need to. It is one of the most entertaining and informative blogs out there so get to clicking. Relationship advice - check. Employment advice - check. An opinionated readership - double check. The comments in and of themselves are worth the click.

There is a new blogger on the (i)qwoc circuit [queer women of color (international / immigrant part optional)]. She blogs as The struggle within me. She is feeling her way around round this here queer thing so please click on over.

O and shoutout to my Ukranian reader who reached out to me via twitter.

Peace, Love, and Happiness.

Thursday Beat: Jessie J - Stand Up

Back to regularly scheduled programming. Blogging regularly should also resume shortly...

And if you don't reach for the moon you can't fall on the stars 

So I live my life like every day is the last, last, last