- First up - I got called out for dropping the potential new lass thing and not adding to it. So I'll offer a few tidbits. She's a little more seasoned than I am but not by much. Good conversation but of a very different flavor from what I'm used to. She has served hot cocoa [if you don't know what that means read BougieLand's best] in a few more cafes than I'm comfortable with but we'll work with it. I did encounter a lass way back when whose cafe list read like the yellow pages. I ran screaming the other way. For all I know new lass might end up firmly in the friend category. K that ought to get me back in y'alls good graces.
- Job search = pain in my derrière. Network - Research - Apply - Rinse and Repeat.
- I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving cause I might get to see my little princess. Le cheerleader jump and le YAY!
- If you have never paid a visit to BougieLand I highly recommend it. Chele's posts are sometimes funny and sometimes thought provoking. The readers' comments on the other hand ... pure ratchetness. My lunchtime routine includes going through them because they are just that entertaining. Yesterday's post on bad cocoa is second only to her her post on the Usher themed wedding that she attended.
- Soul Seduction is a new blog on the block that has some grown folks only types of posts by a blogger of the sapphic persuasion. Check it out.
- BBC's Lip Service would get a post of it's own of I wasn't so tired. We have one more episode left and I'm not feeling the way things are looking. DS Sam, go #teamsam, might have overdone it a little by proclaiming love for Cat. Cat's response of I like it made you feel really sorry for the DS. Moral of the story provided by the DS herself "Saying "I love you" is like a gun fight. If you draw first, you better not miss."
-quick edit 11/12/10
-------------------------------------------------------------
Onto the topic request: Cultures and Norms
CDS, my friend, comes from a more conservative culture but lived in the US for many years. Much like most of us, she picked up a few americanisms and now that she is back home they are posing some challenges. So after much discussion I told her I'd blog on the topic and see what my web fam thinks.
Culture -
The customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group; also : the characteristic features of everyday existence (as diversions or a way of life} shared by people in a place or time.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition 5b
We can all agree that cultural norms vary widely by and within cultures. Italian American in Chicago is not the same as Italian American in Rome or o say Jersey [I know "reality tv" shows are scripted but stay with me]. I'm going to just point out a handful of things that I've observed that might present challenges for those from a more conservative culture when they either come here or go back. *Disclaimer: This is by no means a scientific study. My observations are based on my time in the midwest and looking at those in the 20 - 30 age bracket. *
Informality. We are an informal bunch of folks. We'll call older folks by their first names and for the most part interact with them on an almost peer level. When I first got here I had a very hard time adjusting to calling adults by their first names. It took me years to do it without mentally cringing. Now I do it without much thought and it does earn me the stink eye on occasion when I meet some southern mannered folk. I do sometimes preface a name with Ms. or Mr., Dr. or use ma'am and sir but for the most part I don't.
Touch Feely a.k.a The business of being an equal opportunity hugger / handshaker etc. I am a fan of personal space and am still not totally comfortable giving hugs to people. Having said that, I will shake a hand without giving it any thought. In some more conservative areas, women may not shake men's hand. Now for those of you that keep up with current, you may have heard of the kerfuffle that was caused by Mrs Obama shaking the Indonesian president's hand ... best and most timely example. At the beginning of the quarter I used to give the male students that I knew very well dap as a sort of welcome back hug. If you live n the lab together for 3 months, you end up really well acquainted. Anyway I remember one quarter when one of my classmates brought a few of his new country men in so that they could get through the formalities. We gave each other dap and a few eyebrows went up. He'd been here almost as long as I had so to us it was nothing to them it was positively scandalous.
Use of terms of endearment such as dear / hun / girl / et al. Didn't realize how much of a problem this could cause until CDS and I were chatting. Granted in each there are terms of endearment, think habibti in Arabic, but one has to be very careful about when and with whom you are using them. There is a lot of room for misinterpretation. Here I could be talking to a someone and say "Ooo honey hush ...". Nobody would think much of it. Catch a flight to a more conservative place and that statement could be misconstrued as my already dating the person or trying to get familiar with them.
Aiight. That is my starting line-up. I'm shooting for 5 so let me know what comes to mind.
2 comments:
1. What kind of feedback do you want on your budding article? It seems good by the way. Just go ahead and post the whole thing. Don't get into the trap of bastardizing your art by seeking your humble readers' approval.
2. Serving too much hot cocoa is actually a good thing. You may have struck gold. As someone with a hot cocoa factory in my past, I can tell you it contributes to a refinement of taste. How else would they know how best to serve it? Lol, I just say this in the defense of other frequent hot cocoa servers. Besides, every time people think they know what they want the universe/God throws them for a loop. Enjoy.
3. The Usher themed wedding is not right. It's just not right. I had to forward it to like five people.
@Mimi "Hot cocoa factory" ... I need to find a way to use that phrase in the future. I get the perk of having barista level hot cocoa, but if a chick hits the trip digits, I'll pass. I know myself well enough to know that my insecurities will kick in.
As to feedback I want to add to the list and wanted to know if the readers had made other observations that I hadn't mentioned.
Post a Comment