Saturday, March 29, 2008

The trip down the aisle ... not

Well here's to those who have taken the trip down the aisle. I promised a blurb on the relationship that I have with marriage \ commitment \ exclusiveness.

Well for the longest time I had an aversion to marriage, hell let's be honest all relationships that involved any form of long term commitment. My role models in life weren't the greatest but they existed. My maternal grandparents were married for 6 decades and my parents have been for over 2 decades. Now along with those are a slew of people around me who do not know the first thing about commitment even though they are married. They seem to have made a bigger impression on me when compared to the sturdy relationships.

I am that odd sheep that you get in every family. I have had issues with getting into committed relationships such that I have never actually had one. I will date but as soon as the words exclusive come up, I start feeling really itchy. It's not that I cheat, but hearing exclusive thrown in just gives me a case of the hives. I should say gave because I don't run for the hills but I'm also not standing still when this discussion is held.

During my undergrad years, I usually had two people on the card at the same time. They both knew of each other ... my faults might be many, but I never lied about who was on the cards to either party. I finally took a hiatus from dating because it was getting a lil hazardous to my wallet's health. Over the last year I've slowly gone back to the dating scene, catching a dinner here and there or going to some place like an aquarium or museum ... cheap but educational fun ( i'm a piss poor student no point in pretending otherwise). Whether or not I will get int a relationship is yet to be seen.

My mother has been chastising me for making it to 25 still single. She had me when she was 24 so I'm behind schedule as far as she is concerned. She has not met anyone that I've dated in the last 6 yrs (try explaining girlfriend to an african mother). She knows that I have no intention of settling down with a man ever ... that much I've stressed to her. If I can't see someone exclusively, what in all holiness makes you think I'll settle down dear mother of mine?

Now as several of my friends have wed, and a couple more plan to within the year, I have found myself thinking about what it would be like if I got married ( or had a civil union). First thing on my list is a PRENUP. You can bet your bottom dollar it will be as airtight as an astronaut's suit. I am not losing half my stuff even if I am in the wrong. What you brought in you take out.

Everything else my partner is welcome to decide on. I honestly don't have the patience to pick between lilac seat covers and lavender seat covers. They are the same as far as I am concerned .... purple is purple. Just tell me when to show up and how many I have to provide for the wedding party. My only request would be that I be able to wear a traditional suit such as a sherwani or jodphuri or the traditional Zulu attire complete with shield and spear. K maybe not the last one but at least the sherwani. I'll provide the DJ as I am acquainted with several DJs most of whom would do it for free in favor of the dubious honor of seeing me get hitched as they know my track record.

Well all this is to say, while I will not be grabbing the nearest bonny lass and marching to the alter, I am no longer as averse to the idea as I used to be.

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