Half Penny Post: Behind schedule on marriage

I read a post on Kubatana blogs this morning that had me both laughing out loud and nodding sagely as the author discussed how using 25 and single in the same breath is practically the same as uttering an obscenity. Below are a few excerpts from the post. I highly recommend reading the whole post "It’s finally happening" by Fungai Machirori. I wholeheartedly agree with her on the pressure one feels but she like me is ok with being single. Entering into marriage should be done because you want to not because everyone else around you wants you to. I am 25 and single and damn proud of it. Anyway enjoy the excerpts.

“It’s finally happening,” the small voice in the pit of my belly whispered, eerily, into my ear.

I first heard it speak to me the week one of my good friends told me that she had met a man who said he wanted to marry her. I instantly burst into uncontrollable laughter because - with all due respect to my friend - she is hardly marriage material.

“But I can actually see myself as his wife,” she stated with a tone that sounded genuine and willing to give it a try. That was when I stopped laughing and teasing her, realising that she had found someone she loved deeply enough to consider spending the rest of her life with.

My friends, even the rowdy and party-hardened ones, are starting to settle down to sedate lives as wives and mothers. In December, I attended two of my university classmates’ weddings and I missed a third one because I couldn’t travel to attend it. And to add to the matrimonial mood, I spotted a girl I went to primary school with on the cover of a bridal magazine, standing lovingly next to her new husband!

And watching my classmates cascade down the aisle in beautiful white gowns, looking like princesses out of fairytales, got that voice going again.

“It’s finally happening,” it said softly. “Everyone’s getting married, or getting serious, and you are getting left behind.”

But what if the said ideal life partner doesn’t show up in time for my carefully thought out plan to unfold without any delays? What if I get late into my twenties, or even into my thirties, still single?

Personally, I think I could handle it. But it’s the back chat of well-meaning relatives, perplexed workmates and blissfully happily married friends that might start to make me feel uneasy and stir that sadistic voice within myself to belt out boldly, and loud enough for every organ and nerve and blood vessel within me to hear,

Where I live, saying “I’m twenty-five and single,” is made to sound like a string of dirty words put together to make an unspeakable expletive. A workmate has suggested that I pray against the evil spirits that are currently standing in the way of my finding lasting love. Another keeps reminding me that after I turn twenty-five, my time with the boys will be over and they will all be looking through me and over my shoulder for a younger woman.

Needless to say, I feel very much under pressure.

I value my time alone. I really do. I love being able to make unilateral decisions and pursue my heart and mind’s deepest desires. For now, I am really happy to attend other people’s weddings and watch their bellies bloom with new life. I feel blessed to be able to watch my friends’ metamorphoses from self-doubting girls to self-assured women.

Truly a woman after my own heart. When relatives start making the marriage noises I change the channel. I am still trying to save up money for lobola in case I end up settling down with an African woman. Gotta be prepared right?