Half Penny Post: Weekly Rundown

Two weeks worth of posting so let's get to it:

• Happy Friday. May is upon us finally. Hopefully that warmer weather will decend upon the Chi.
• I had a very good job interview this week, and I'm talking one of my best. Everything was on point and I felt no pressure at all. The recruiter and I spoke later and she told me that while I was one of her top candidates, I could not continue as I was not a US Citizen. I've gotten so used to hearing it now it no longer phases me. I've jus gotta keep going.
• I had a fun evening at Google Chicago. I love their event space. Lots of windows with killer views of the Chi. We had several lightning talks that gave us a quick glimpse into what the Summer of Code interns are going to be working on.
• A friend of mine successfully defended her disertation and is officially a Dr. I am beyond ecstatic about it. I think I mentioned helping her to compile the final draft of the thesis. Next week we get to see her graduate .... yihaaaaaaaaaaaa.
• My best mate was in town last week. I got to hang out with her for a bit and I miss her that much more after seeing her. I can't wait to head out west to see her again.
• It's been a harrowing 2 weeks. I was hoping this week would be better than the last but that hope went to hell in a hand basket. If it's not one thing its another. I'm pretty much running on a reserve tank while trying to keep everyone else in the family motivated to not lose hope. I do sometimes hate being handed the family mantle and being told their yours now. I am more certain than ever that I want to have kids only when I can take care of them. To a great extent it sucks not having someone to share the burden with. I hate calling up friends to discuss what's going on because I know with several of them there is a lot more going on in their lives than in mine.
• My ma's paperwork is truely fucked up at this point. She might not make it up for graduation which is a bummer.
• Have you ever walked away from a situation and decided to get a clean break and later it comes back into you life? I'm still trying to figure out what things are now different. Do I want the roller coaster ride that prevailed at the time? I am really hoping that I'll be able to keep my space and quasi peace intact. First sign of the roller coaster I'm walking and cutting all lines of communication ... that's my resolution.
• I am all types of stressed and will admit it. The time away helped to relax me some but getting back here and not having enough free time to destress is not helping things.
• Have a great weekend and don't forget to vote on AfterEllen for the best kiss.

Half Penny Post: Relationships

I've been back from DC for a whole day and I must say I enjoyed the time away. I spent Monday night in DuPont. That is one hell of a gayborhood. I enjoyed watching the couples walking around. A special ddaaaaammmmmnnnnnnnn goes out a mama cita who was riding her Ninja out there. She looked mad hotttt. I was preparing to walk up to her and get a convo going when her girlfriend came out of the coffee shop... sad sad but lucky bugger that girlfriend of hers.

On my way home this evening I saw these 2 high school students who are a couple. They were so cute together. I've seen them several times but today they just looked extra cute.

I was thinking of what I consider deal breakers when it comes to potential mates. Top of the list is smoking. That is the one thing that I will not budge on. I do not like the lingering smell of smoke on clothing. There is only so much Febreezing that I'm willing to do. Smoke also triggers my allergies in some instances.

Another deal breaker is conversation. Are you able to have a conversation on something other than the weather and public transit? The sex could be banging, but if you can't hold a conversation, that's it.

Should we ever find ourselves heading towards cohabitating (and trust me I will wait for a hella long time before pulling this stunt), I am not willing to move into their place because it is still their place even if we share the bills. We are going to find a place and sign the lease together. It's our place. I prefer keeping my own space because I am a fan of personal space. If we piss each other off, I like being able to leave you and go back to my own place. I will also annoy the hell out of someone with some of my habits. There are some routines that I do not deviate from and I know it drove my sister nuts when we used to share a place. I like things a certain way and if they are not I do get agitated (can't think of a better way to put it). I can't help it. It's also one of the things that makes it hard for anyone to date me.

I'm otherwise willing to compromise on just about everything else.

Sorry to cut this post short ... gotta attend to homework.

Tuesday Beat: Jen Foster - I didn't just kiss her

Don't ask my why I'm feeling this song, I just am. Could be that the story is "vaguely familiar."

Travel: DC again

I know I skipped the weekly run down and I'll try and get to it later today. I've been offline since Thursday and you won't believe the peace that comes with being unreachable. I've been in DC for a few days and should be heading home tomorrow. I drove over instead of flying this time around so I am enjoying having a car to get me around. I am certifiably six shades darker than I was when I left the Chi and all I did was sit on a balcony. Well that and a few other touristy things. I've got to say I love the view from my sis' balcony. Below you'll find a day and night view.

I have an interview later today and I'll include info on it during the rundown.

Tuesday Beat: cdizzle69 - Angel of Mine

I love this song and am a fan of cdizzle69's song renditions on youtube. So enjoy the Angel of Mine acoustic rendition.

Half Penny Post: Weekly Rundown

It seems the birthday celebration keeps coming along. Dinner with a friend. Pastries with office mates... yihaaa!

• I've just discovered that The No. 1 Ladies Detective is on HBO. Didn't even know we had HBO. Anyway it's worth a watch. Jill Scott does a bang up job as MaRamotswe. Desmond Dube as the gay hairdresser is pure genius.
• On the job front I was a slacker this week. I will admit it.
• I am living for homework, homework and more homework. On my free night it's me and a good murder story and Youtube for movie watching.
• My ma is major stressed ... hell the whole family has been this week. We seem to go from one high stress situation to the next. And they wonder why I want to go into Business Continuity Planning / Disaster Recovery. I live for the adrenaline rush.
• It's SPRING in Chicago for all of 2 days.
• I got a damn tkt from the Chi midnight patrol. I don't have Chi city stickers on the car ... the damn plates are from out of state for Pete's sake. I see no reason to put Chi stickers on it.
• I have been in a flirty mood of late and today I was just incorrigible. I was truely beyond reform. I also had my outfit on point ... and that meant my swagger was also along for the ride. Two of my co-workers even asked if I had a date lined up after work. Nope tis jus me and my laptop. I turned the charm on with one lady because I got tired of her staring at me.
• I work with students and have the pleasure of confusing the hell out of the new students every quarter.
• There are 2 African American women in my academic program who have pinged my non existent gaydar to Pluto and back (and by pinged I mean gonged). I was going to comment on them a few posts ago but forgot to. When I started to write this post I was going to say where I know them from then it occurred to me that a couple of people who read this blog might know them as the women's social circles in my academic department tend to overlap. I have no business outing people (unless they are family). Besides, what if they really are just straight gay friendly folks....
• If you are queer/lesbian/gay/pick your label and watch soaps I'm sure that by now you've heard of the Otalia story line on Guiding Light and the Joey/Charlie story line on Home & Away. If you haven't I highly recommend Youtube for some condensed viewing. I'm not a soap watcher but I've gotten drawn into the stories. The anguish as demonstrated by Otalia is just heartwrenching at times. Side note: the actress who plays Charlie get's my AMEN for the day. Unfortunately I feel that after this week of awesome reveletions, shit will hit the fan and it'll all go to hell in a handbasket next week. My crystal ball shows another Callica (Grey's A) coming right up.

Have a great weekend!

Ty

Half Penny Post: Observations part deux

Additional observations about my life:

Having female roommates is always an experience. One of two things happens ... you either all sync cycles so there is a week or two of total insanity or you all spread out so the whole month is insanity central. I have two female roommates (technically one is my male roommate's gf) and of late it's been insanity central all month.

I had a discussion with one of my co-workers about what I want to do with my life and I've discovered money is actually not my primary motivator. I'd be willing to work for "free" that is I'd be willing to take a short term contract if room, board and transportation were covered. Now unfortunately in order for me to meet some of my other goals, money will need to find it's way into the top 2 positions.

I am challenged when it comes to completing what I start. I have the attention span of a 5 year old in some instances. School has been the one thing which I've stuck to mostly because I enjoy the process of learning and discovery. When I start other projects it does take me a while to finish em unless I have a deadline to meet that is imovable. I am a professional procrastinator. One of the reasons why I do not finish something comes down to what if I finish and it's not good enough. At this point it's no longer a fear of failure but a fear of not measuring up.

I am tired of being told I dream too much and need a dose of reality on what I can achieve. I see things and try things and sometimes fail at things. I live my life and don't always make the wisest choices. Each thing that I do has either shown me what not to do or what I need to be focusing on as I move towards my dreams. Is it realistic of me to expect to own property in four countries ... damn skippy it is. Am I being unrealistic when one of my dream properties is a 1.2 million dollar house? Nope! I do not expect to use it as my primary home, more of a house I use a week or two out of the year. The rest of the year, I'm renting it out either as a time share property or a corporate house. Renting it out as a corporate house will cover the mortgage based on the rental values for the houses in the area. So you see while I am dreaming of that house on the hill with the ocean view, I'm also thinking of ways to pay it off and get a good ROI. I am thinking of ways of financing it if need be as well as the upkeep costs. I am planning, but all you hear when I speak are the words "1.2 million dollar house" and think I spend to much time dreaming.

Another observation is that to some extent I am detached from the things around me. I think that is one of the reasons why I have no problem with picking up and moving. I can walk away from people and things and not look back which is a good and a bad thing. Good because it means I can take assignments with a 90% travel rate and bad because there is a level of loneliness that comes with it.

Final observation for this post: I am an eternal optimist. That is something that I get from my dad. No matter how bad things are he always says it will get better. He believes that out of every bad situation will come good. Come to think of it, it was something my maternal grandma used to say as well. I can almost hear her saying "Kuzolunga mzukulu. Qinisela" which means it will get better my granchild, just stay strong / with it. She used to say it when I called her and shit was jus not going right. She passed away several years ago and still when shit is not going well, I think back to her words of encouragement and optimism.

Half Penny Post: Observations

Random observations from my day to day life.

While I am not a type A personality I've come to realize that I'm closer to it than I thought. There is a sense of order that my unconscious mind sees and implements without telling my conscious mind. I discover things after the fact. Prime example, my work space. It is arranged in a manner that suprises people. On the board in front of me is I have pens, highlighters and sharpies thumb tacked to the board (instead of in a container of some sort). I have a calendar and lined up under it are my Dove Chocolate wrapper sayings. I have a clipboard to the right with a list of projects that I'm working on as well well as the status of each. I need to post a photo for you to understand how unusual the order is. I didn't notice it until someone commented on it.

Another example of my faux type A personality is the order of my shoes. I've subconciously arranged my shoes by color and cut, for example, my black shoes go from solid black boots to my black laceless sneakers. Same goes for the brown row. Another row has sneakers with laces and they go from solid black, to black with white to solid white to white with blue to blue with grey to grey with black. I mean the colors flow.

I ride the train to work and the bus home on most days. I enjoy the bus ride as it is along Lakeshore Dr. As I've adjusted to this quarter's schedule I've begun to notice people. Take for example this woman who is butch. I ride the bus with her every Tuesday. She gets on at Water Tower place and gets off at Bryn Mawr. We've seen each other enough times to nod when the other gets on the bus. Thursday nights after class I catch the bus with another lady who works at a restaurant judging by her attire. I can't say for sure where she gets on but we get off at the same stop. She always has her music going. One of these days I'm going to wave bye to her when she turns down her street.

My roommate is on vacation for a few so there are 2 of us in the apartment. That translates into I do not need to hunt up a shirt if I wish to leave my room ... yippee. I have an aversion to shirts that I have mentioned in a previous blog. I spend every possible moment in my room shirtless and it appears I'm in good company. The upcoming issue of Allure has Padma in the buff and I shall quote"I tend to sleep in the nude. I'm an innately tactile person and a very sensual-leaning woman. You have to use the word 'leaning' or it sounds like I'm boasting! When I'm in my own private space, I do spend time with very little on." By the way can we get an AMEN for Padma and her fine self. Actually can we jus get an amen for women in general.

As I grow older, coming out seems to get easier. Could also be a case of the more people I come out to the easier it becomes. I found myself having a conversation with a fellow student and didn't think twice when I said "change that to girlfreind and no I don't have one." She was like really, and the conversation just carried on as usual. I have a bone to pick with people who ask me if I have a boyfriend or someone I'm seeing. The "or someone" portion of the equation automatically becomes a girlfriend unless the English language has changed in recent years. Why don't they just ask are you seeing someone? Or better yet, are you gay? I will answer honestly 99% of the time.

One of my roommate's is leaving the city at the end of the school year so we've been meeting potential roommates. There is the dance of do you like us, do we like you and as well as the how comfortable are you with black & asian roommates. There is also the follow-up "your thoughts on a gay roommate"? Psychology is a wonderful thing and I will psych you out with my grey tank and hip hanging cargo pants.

Enough of me rambling ... I'll probably post additional ramblings as the month goes on.

Random Post: Woohooooo

Alright then some housekeeping: Thank you for all the birthday wishes that came via blog, email, facebk etc.

I was not able to take myself out on Saturday as I'd planned courtesy of my homework, nothing like a security risk assessment worth a fifth of your grade. I did make it out tonight after class though. I grabbed a burger and a couple of Red Stripes over at Big Chicks and I do recommend their buck quarter pounders (comes with fries and did I mention that it only costs a buck on Mondays). Nothin like hitting up a queer friendly spot and dining with the boys. (I'm still trying to get over the Red Stripes, good thing I'm not opening the office tomorrow)

BTW, if you are looking to truely stretch your budget, I recommend just grabbing a second buck burger instead of adding extras (bacon, cheese etc) to your current burger.

On turning 26 ... I feel that much wiser, NOT. I'm officially an adult according to my parents which is a good thing. Anywho hope you all have a great week!

Ty

Happy Birthday to me

Today is the 100th day of the year and therefore my birthday ... 26 has never looked this good. Sadly I have noone to celebrate with this year .... o well I'll take myself out on Saturday.

Half Penny Post: Weekly Rundown

Sorry this is late. I plum forgot to do it yesterday. Onto the rundown...

• Spring's here ... NOT. Chi weather is a hot mess. I still have my winter gear out and am using it.
• Speaking of Chi, the roads in this town are too much. Were it not for the olympic Committee being in town, I swear they's be a helluva lot worse.
• There's been a barrage of birthdays. Friends and family all adding a year to their tally. Next week I'll be uping my tally as well.
• My mom turns 50 today. Happy birthday to her. All she wants now are grandkids. All her other siblings have several each. My mother has no son-in-law or daughter in law for that matter.
• It's been a really rough couple of days. I had one full on anxiety attack this week which is worrisome because it's been a while since I've had one. Insomnia has kicked in and it's not a pretty picture.
• My dad (whom I almost never write about) was really sick last week. Had us worried for a second. He seems to be on the mend so we'll put faith on that.
• I just watched the Chinese Botanist's Daughter ... movie had me looking for Kleenex at the end. Beautiful. Escapism is high up on my list of things to pursue.
• On the job front, I had one networking event and one informational interview. Everything that people keep recommending costs mucho dinero. I'm a bloody student whose parents do not foot the bill. Loans are not an option right now. I understand that where there is a will there is a way, but this week, it's been tough seeing that. My resume yet again underwent a revision. I now have several variations of the resume for each industry that I'm looking at .
• I wrote my philosophical ponderings on who I am and decided not to publish them. A therapist would have a field day with the post. I'll probably post an editted version later though.
• School's started up and I have 2 interesting classes. One is quite technical the other just is. I'm also going strong with the French lessons so that's the equivalent of another class.
• I now know how to compile a thesis thanks to a friend of mine who needed a hand with putting hers together. If you need a hand holla, I've almost got this nailed down.
• I think Montreal is the next stop for me when I leave Chi. That's what my gut's telling me anyway. Gotta start laying down the ground work for that.

Ty