Travel: I smell a roadtrip

I smell a road trip coming soon. Why do people insist on moving during the hottest days of the year? I'll post on where I end up if I do get out of town.

Tuesday Beat: Marco Hernandez - The Way I Do

Trying to spread some good love karma...

Your kiss, your smile, your mind
You're sunlight in my eyes
I miss your breath on my neck
When we whisper in the night

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.

Half Penny Post: Chicago Pride

It's Pride yet again this year. Twas indeed a fine day for it. Lots of people turned out, came out and hung out of their clothes. Twas a fine day indeed to be gay! I had originally planned to walk in the parade as an offer had been extended. The conversation with my mama last night threw me off and I decided not to walk. I did show up to meet and greet and have an all around good time. I met a friend while I was watching and it was nice to see a familiar face.

I am another 3 shades darker because I forgot to put on some sunscreen. Anyway below are a few shots from the parade. Can't say how many naked asses I saw courtesy of assless chaps.

Half Penny Post: Weekly Rundown

The week endeth thus. Hella hot! Summer is here no question about it.

• Chi pride is this weekend. I'll post somn on Sunday evening after the parade. With luck I'll get to do one thing that I've been seriously considering doing. I'll post whether or not I succeed.
• Did I mention that it is hot! I'm practically 3 shades darker now.
• All in all a good week. I spent a good deal of my time researching Emergency Management certification. To get into my chosen field of Continuity Planning I'll need some sort of certification in EM and CP. I have the second half of the summer free so I'll be going through the FEMA online classes.
• Tis been a sad week as Michael Jackson has passed on. Farrah Fawcett also passed on yesterday so t'was a two 'fer in a very sad way. An era has thus ended. O and Ed McMahon passed on as well. Now it bears mentioning that I met him in 2005 during graduation as he was he the speaker. And I do mean met as in I shook his hand and said hello.
• At times I'm certain of where I'm going at times I'm not. At times I just am, neither moving nor standing still. This is one of those times.
• In additional entertainment news, don't forget to watch the Lovers and Friends Show, part II has been posted.
• Please vote for Dee Rees' Pariah on NetFlicks. Alix has a post on it along with some clips from the movie. Please please please VOTE for it!

“Pariah” seeks to personalize the struggles of gay/lesbian youth of color in such a way that evokes empathy, opens doors to communication, and promotes dialogue within families. The mission is to help gay and lesbian youth to understand that it’s okay to be themselves. The film also seeks to convince parents who are not accepting of their children’s sexual orientation that pressuring their child into a particular mode of behavior is unhealthy and is damaging to both the child’s psyche and to the parent/child relationship.

• Anyway I'm randy as hell and we are talking jump into a cold lake randy... one of the side effects of summer.

Enjoy the weekend!

Tuesday Beat: Rihanna - Te Amo

My jam for this week is Te Amo. I've been swaying to it since I got it last week. I heard a version of the song that was done by James Fauntleroy who I love but Riri killed her version of it. It has a level of grit that Fauntleroy can't quite pull off. And yes the song does go "Te amo, te amo, shes scared to breathe I hold her hand, i got no choice uhh". If the vid doesn't work just YouTube it. I've had to replace it a couple o times already.

Te amo, te amo
She says to me, I hear the pain in her voice
Then we danced underneath the candelabra she takes the lead
Thats when i saw it in her eyes its over

Then she says te amo then she put her hand around me waist
I told her no,
She cries Te amo i told her im not gonna run away but let me go
My soul hears her cry , without asking why
I said te amo, wish somebody tell me what she said
Dont it mean I love you
Think it means I love you
Dont it mean I love you

Random Post: Tis hotter than Hades

It is 90 fn degrees outside right now. WTH is one supposed to do in all this heat. I am barely meeting the required dress code as it is. Anyway tomorrow the rain returns and I'll bitch about that but at least I can get stuff done with a poncho on or somn.

Had a unique experience last night. I have a profile on a dating site for queers (shan't say which - it is NOT Match) and on my list of recommended ladies was a friend of mine. Well lemme put our connection this way, we are friends and she is VERY interested in a mutual friend. Learnt a lot about her courtesy of a her profile. Probably won't tell her about it as there was some info that could result in some awkwardness. This is actually the second time that I've been matched with someone that I'm well acquainted with. I need a bigger pool to fish in.

Half Penny Post: Weekly Rundown

Tis Friday yet again and dare I say it has been a beautiful week.

• Week started with the sibs being in town and progressed on a more positive trajectory.
• Chicago Summer Dance has started up again so I get to enjoy free dance lessons on Thurs & Fri after work. Its in the park and open to everyone so you really need to have a carefree attitude to go dancing. Some people show up just to watch. You have to be willing to flub and dance with strangers in broad daylight. Yesterday we had the Argentine tango and as I'm single I took myself onto the dancefloor. I met a nice lady who agreed to partner with me as her husband had not arrived. Tonight we had Salsa and Cha cha cha. I got the salsa part down with no problems but the cha cha cha threw me for a loop. I was in the middle of the crowd and didn't care who saw me screw up. I had a helluva lot of fun. There were enough of us laughing at ourselves when we got lost coming out of the turns. I am still a bit stiff when I dance as I've had no reason to practice so the classes are a great help.
• Today was one of my fav days at work. We got the ofc ready for a the new advisor who is coming in and nothing else really. We played name the capital cities after finding a globe in the back and it was a lot of fun.
• I've spoken to my ma more times this week than I have in the past month. I've also spoken to half my cousins on my mom's side as well. Gotta love the not so subtle hints on marriage.
• I'm taking 2 weeks off from job hunting and will pick up again after July kicks off. I'm regrouping and looking at where I'm headed. I know what I want and might need to rework the strategy a lil.
• I went on a lake cruise on Tuesday with the rest of the graduating international students and had a blast. My former supervisor was there and we sat at the same table. He and I have the same sense of humor and we are constantly cracking each other up. The seafood ravioli was to die for and the bread pudding was to murder for. Good meal and good company, what more can one ask for?
• Chi weather has been going back and forth and one minute it's spring, the next it's not. Blah. I got hosed by rain today on my way to work. It's a good thing that I had the foresight to pack a change of shirt in my backpack. Today's weather was the weather that makes you want to cuddle with your honey in bed while eating cereal and listening to some laid back RnB, some old school Donnell Jones, Case, Joe Thomas, Isley Brothers,Temptations, India Arie etc. I had everything except for the honey. Not a bad deal overall.
• The Lovers and Friends Show is back with Ep. 6. They are posting it in 3 installments. I LOVE the Tori & Mercedes montage in part one. Watch part one here.

Have a good weekend folks! BTW , if there is anything you would like me to write about just send me a note. I have a lil more free time this summer so I look forward to posting more often.

Half Penny Post: Graduation

As promised a photo from graduation on Sunday. I was gowned up complete with national flag. The sibs were in town and we had us a gay ol' time. I am completing the coursework for the extra concentration that I picked so in Nov I'll have completed that as well.

Quick story from grad ceremony. I walked up to get the diploma, & e sibs cheered up a storm. Guy behind the sibs says out of the blue "O you know him", sibs burst out laughing & forgot to take photos of me getting the damn thing which was the main photo that my mum wanted.

Tuesday Beat: Tracy Chapman - The Promise

A woman whose music needs no introduction is Ms. Chapman. Her dimples ... lawd ha mercy no. Her voice is soothing and makes you want to live up to all those promises that you make in this song. Still spreading that love karma around. Enjoy!

Half Penny Post: Weekly Rundown

Quarter's out!!!!!!! Life's good for the next 72hours.

This week's rundown is as follows:

• I have 3 classes to go before I finish my program. Summer's going to be a lil interesting.
• I am walking with the rest of the graduates on Sunday and am yet to try on the gown. I'll try and remember to post a photo of me gowned up. What genius decided that we need to graduate at 8am?
• My sis' paperwork came through yesterday so that is one less thing that I have to worry about.
• Our office suite has an IT project that they are kicking off in 2 weeks and I'm lobbying mighty hard to be allowed to participate. It's not directly in our office so there's a bit of politicing involved but thus far I have 2 yeses. I need my supervisor's boss to agree and speak to the other department head so that I am allowed to participate. It'd be a great learning opportunity for me.
• The lesson of the day is that 80 proof vodka is not to be taken lightly. That stuff will *beep* you over even on a full stomach. After submitting my last paper I had to celebrate and vodka beat out wine.
• On my way home I watched a fight break out. I didn't realised the windmill fighting technique was still in use till I saw the 2 guys have at it. Talk about the woosiest fight ever.
• On AfterEllen they have a forum post called When was the last time that you said damn. This time of year, that seems to be something that comes crosses my mind more often than not. It does occasionally make for a very long night esp if I've been out with some friends.
• I happened upon an ad that is a hair old ('06) and it's for Provoceteur skivvies. Hottt dammnnn! It's got Kylie Minogue and if you haven't seen it check it out here. I love the ending whereby she challenges the men in the audience to stand up after watching her. Hell I would not have stood up if I was in that crowd... don't believe me, watch it for yourself.
• I am in a good place right now. Randy as hell but otherwise good.

Love and peace.

Tuesday Beat: Luther Vandross - Take You Out

Goes out to all the lovely ladies out there. The late and fabulous Luther Vandross ... the man knew how to seranade.

She caught me by surprised I must say
Cause I never have seen such a pretty face
With such a warm and beautiful smile
It wasn't hard for me to notice her style
I was fascinated, surely
She took my heart and held it for me
I wouldn't let her get away
Not until she heard me say

[Chorus:]
Excuse me miss
But what's your name
Where are you from and can I come
And possibly, can I take you out tonight
To a movie, to the park
I'll have you home before it's dark
So let me know, can I take you out tonight

Half Penny Post: Weekly Rundown

Tis Friday! Hugs all around :).

First off thanks to Evolving for the pep talk. I really needed it. I am happening to the world and not the other way around.

The people who read the blog probably know more about what's going on in my head than anyone else. To the general public I come off as the confident competent Tech. I am sure of who I am and where I am going. In short they meet my representative. We all have representatives. Here on this blog I am able to send my rep on vacation and say what's on my mind. I am comfortable with letting my guard down and saying where I am in life. I do sometimes go back and forth on putting this much of myself out there. Yes it's a risk, but what in life isn't. It's when I get a message on fb/yt/blog/email saying how much the reader enjoys the blog or can relate to my insecurities that I know that I'm doing the right thing. As such I'll continue to put myself out there and trust that it's for a good cause.

Onto the weekly rundown:

• The week ended rather well. I am good. I got to put some time in planning my move to Canada. I wrote up the first draft of my applications for the Federal Skilled Worker visa. It costs $550 to file that first and and additional $491 to file for permanent residency. I plan to do the actual filing in August after putting aside a little money.
• Currently listening to some KCI & Jojo - All My Life, Lauryn Hill / Bob Marley - Turn Your Lights Down Low ... those songs will never go out of style for me.
• Tomorrow the US takes on Honduras in football / soccer. I am in the Honduran camp for this one. I had my Honduran jersey on today and you won't believe how many people came up to me to talk about the game. Granted most assumed I was from there even though I don't speak a lick of Spanish. Downtown there was a crowd at the Double Tree which I shall assume is where the Honduran team is staying. Viva Honduras!
• One more week to go then the quarter is over. Thursday can't come soon enough.
• My sis and bro will be here next weekend ...YAY! The 3 amigos haven't ridden together in quite a while.
• I spent the earlier portion of the day out running errands and I must say it was nice to spot several queer couples out and about with kids.
• I walked home from campus this afternoon. It's about 9 miles. I walk to clear mind and to get some exercise in. I've come to think of Chicago as my home. It's definitely a city that I can see myself settling down in and raising a family. If I leave the city at the end of my current tenure, I will definitely be back. I love the rhythm of it, the sights, the sounds, the smells (well in select portions of town), the diversity, the 1001 restuarants that one has to try, the queer community ... I just love it.
• Anyway I've gotta leave you with the lyrical genius that is Lauryn Hill, taken from Turn Your Lights Down Low.

Love & Peace

Ty

Loving you is a like a song I replay
Every three minutes and thirty seconds of every day (Uh)
And every chorus (Uh) was written for us to recite (Right)
Every beautiful melody of devotion every night
This potion might, (Uh)this ocean might (Uh) carry me (Uh)
In a wave of emotion to ask you to marry me
And every word, every second, and every third
Expresses the happiness more clearly than ever heard (Uh)
And when I play ‘em, every chord is a poem
Telling the Lord how grateful I am because I know him
The harmonies (Word) possess a sensation similar to your caress (Uh)
If you asking then I'm telling you it's yes (Yes, yes)
Stand in love, take my hand and love Jah bless
Right, right

Half Penny Post: Check out the new blog Queering African

Tis Thursday and not only is the week almost over, the quarter is almost over too. I have projects and presentations coming out of my ears at this point.

I came across a new blog Queer(ing) African and I thought I'd share it. The blog kicked off beginning of this month and thus far I've enjoyed the posts. If you ever come across any blogs by queer Africans do please send them my way. I'd be more than happy to give them a shout out.

An excerpt from her blog:

So a little about myself. As my blog name suggests, I’m a queer (for lack of a better word), continental African living in what we now call the Northern Hemisphere but what the Indigenous people originally called Turtle Island, in an active process of decolonizing my mind and my way of life. I’m interested in reflecting on all aspects of my life – black, queer, masculine-presenting, continental African, woman, and in an interracial relationship which means being brutally open and honest about myself. I’m also interested in questioning terms like ‘African’, ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ and really critiquing the investment in such terms. For example if I don’t identify as ‘feminine’ or ‘trans’ can I only then consider myself ‘masculine’ and why isn’t there another category which describes me? Why do we put ourselves into these little narrow boxes that we can’t get ourselves out of? One would say, ‘well, it’s unfortunate that we don’t live in a label-free world’ but I would say, why don’t we create that world? Is it so impossible?

Enjoy!

Ty

Half Penny Post: Fear of not being good enough

Today was a good day, a really good day. Yesterday was not soo good. I have been oscillating between the good and the not soo good and am hoping that over the next day or two I'll level off. It's the end of quarter stress that's adding to the ride.

As I continue on the job hunt I've gotten better at getting the call to interview and then the callback. It's the emails of regret that are beginning to get me down. At some point during your job search you will hit the point whereby the faith in yourself gets low. I am fast approaching that point. I understand that there are many more job candidates that are better than I am and that the job market is tough right now, but I have friends who are getting job offers left right and center and I have to wonder am I simply not good enough. I am good but am I good enough for them to want to invest time in me. What do they not see when they interview me and come down to the final decision and select an alternate candidate?

I have gotten over my fear of failure but it in turn has been replaced by the fear of not being good enough. A recruiter once said to me to you are not allowed to get depressed until your 51st rejection letter. I'm fast approaching that point.

I think to some extent I am also becoming self destructive the more despondent I become. I'm doing stupid shit that is not helping my cause at all. That I have picked up on the fact that I am doing it will probably help me to curb it some. Aaaaagh this is some depressing shit.

Tuesday Beat: Heather Headley - I Wish I Wasn't

I love Heather Headley. Her voice is soo rich that you can feel the emotion in the songs. Chosen song is because I still have lingering feelings (more of a weak spot if I'm honest) for someone that I really wish I didn't. My summer goal is for me to start dating again.

Heather Headley |MTV Music