Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Half Penny Post: Fear of not being good enough

Today was a good day, a really good day. Yesterday was not soo good. I have been oscillating between the good and the not soo good and am hoping that over the next day or two I'll level off. It's the end of quarter stress that's adding to the ride.

As I continue on the job hunt I've gotten better at getting the call to interview and then the callback. It's the emails of regret that are beginning to get me down. At some point during your job search you will hit the point whereby the faith in yourself gets low. I am fast approaching that point. I understand that there are many more job candidates that are better than I am and that the job market is tough right now, but I have friends who are getting job offers left right and center and I have to wonder am I simply not good enough. I am good but am I good enough for them to want to invest time in me. What do they not see when they interview me and come down to the final decision and select an alternate candidate?

I have gotten over my fear of failure but it in turn has been replaced by the fear of not being good enough. A recruiter once said to me to you are not allowed to get depressed until your 51st rejection letter. I'm fast approaching that point.

I think to some extent I am also becoming self destructive the more despondent I become. I'm doing stupid shit that is not helping my cause at all. That I have picked up on the fact that I am doing it will probably help me to curb it some. Aaaaagh this is some depressing shit.

2 comments:

EvolvingContradiction7 said...

Ty hang tight and don't get discouraged. Everything about job searching is difficult. Last June I was going through this and this is what you said to me:

"I recently decided to change my whole outlook on life and the events that are going on around me. I am practicing positive thinking as well as being more intentional in my actions. I got tired of the world happening to me and decided I'm going to happen to the world. I'm working on keeping positive people around me, people who can uplift me and people who I can also uplift. I am learning how to best me. The best me today will be different from the best me tomorrow, but I'm hoping to make the transitions less painful. It's all about evolving right"

I think its time to actually do what you said happen to the world! Yes the job market is tough but the right job for YOU has not come yet. Be glad that you did not get the job no matter how good it sounded, those jobs were not where you are supposed to be.

TYR said...

And my own words seem to have found a way to come back and bite me in the ass... thanks, I really needed that.